For those who haven’t yet seen the new Food Lion store in Wake Forest, which, depending on the hoard of shoppers we had to fight our way through now there can not be many, I wanted to give you a quick rundown on some of the things you can expect at this fresh contemporary site.
One of the first things I found unique was how all of the sidewalks funnel you down into the sides of the building, you know, so that you may input the vestibule through the doors which are perpendicular to the front of the building (for those of you from Iron-Duff that is a fancy way of saying that there is a porch which sticks out from the front of the home and instead of having measures that go right up the centre the measures is finished on each side). So what you need to do is, step back out into the street, avoid getting hit, and then return to the front of the vestibule in which the doors are (porch for those of you from Iron-Duff). I have to say, with an abysmal over front area (covered porch for those of you from Iron-Duff) could have been very handy during today’s monsoon.
Now if you are thinking that all this work simply to get inside may not be worthwhile, fear not, once inside you will find all the groceries you came for, and of course the chance to stroll through the walk in produce cooler. This chamber is properly humidified and adequately cooled so as to keep the freshest vegetables in the city. Upon departing the produce cave you’ll end up drifting through their new state of the art Deli. Folks, they have subs, pizzas, pastas, sandwiches, sushi, as well as whole fried chickens. You can imagine my excitement seeing each the delis offerings, especially after having to spend all that time in the create cave. Hey Food Lion, how bout the next time ya’ll get together to look a shop and a few young hipster walks in the area and says you will need a create cooler over there where the beer cave was, ya’ll do a small grownup’n and put him back on night shift stocking shelves. Trust me, a month or two of night shift coupled with the disruption of his delicate circadian rhythm and he will forget all about his natural vegan ways, but I digress.
So back to the deli, where now is Super Bowl Sunday and I am going to buy myself a few dozen Wing Dings. I am thinking maybe I’ll find a dozen routine Wing Dings and a Dozen Spicy Wing Dings, right? So I am looking all up and down the sexy shelf and I don’t find any, so I asked this fine young fellow from the deli area where I might locate the Wing Dings. I assumed he worked at the deli because he was wearing a blue, fresh from the bag, Food Lion polo with a shiny new badge. The badge had his name on it, or at least I think it was his name, it is tough to tell if they use them old-school Dymo labelers. I say all this to help clarify what happened next, because what I heard was a statement which I presumed was simply coming out of the mouth of a new child, one that doesn’t know the retail industry yet, or perhaps he just isn’t up to speed on all things Food Lion however, cause what he says was,”we do not make Wing Dings anymore”!! At the very moment I gave that young man my entire attention, looked him right in the eyes, and demanded that he explain his statement! Before the poor child could get out three great b of a”b-b-b-but” stutter, another fellow decided he may need to intervene. Additionally wearing one of them new blue polo shirts with accompanying Dymo embossed title tag, though his denoted him as the”Deli Manager”, he proceeded to affirm the young lads previously mentioned gut wrenching news by saying,”yep, that’s right, we ai not gonna make those Wing Dings anymore. We have this brand new hot pub over here where you can get em any way you want em”, as he points toward a rolling buffet that is just the perfect height to permit children to play. People, that ai not the way I need em!
If you are wondering what I did next, I will let you know. I did the one thing a self-respecting man can do, I caught one of these to-go boxes and proceeded to pick out a dozen of these overheated drawn up on the bone diabeetus sauce coated fake chicken wings. I didn’t do this because I wished to mind you, but instead because Beth had snatched me by the arm and told me to stop my whining, leave the bad deli child alone, do or do not get any of them dang chicken wings way she do not care, and come on so we could complete shopping. Together with my wings in the buggy, I ended my pouting when pushing our cart throughout the land of lost promises, all the while taking care not to bump into the little old women blocking the aisles while they waited to hear from the store manager as to whether or not the grand opening sale price for tuna fish could nevertheless be honored next week.
Now for those who are worried about me and worry as to how I could survive without Wing Dings, please rest easy, for I will finally find a gas station deli that fixes their wings just how I like em. I want to ask however, that in the event you’ve got a spare minute, you may want to say a prayer for the poor cashier that checked us out, I’m sure she would appreciate it. Turns out that I was not the only one that was disappointed in our shopping experience and wondering exactly what the world was coming to. Now while Beth may not share my affinity for Wing Dings, she did appear to have some pet peeves in regards to bagging her groceries, together with a couple of choice words to the poor cashier that did the baggin. She seemed genuinely surprised that the cashier had put our toothpaste in the exact same bag with all of our cleaning supplies, which included a bottle of liquid bleach. I guess it requires far more than bagging toothpaste and bleach together to shock me today, particularly when the bagger is in the same generation that is eating Tide Pods. I can see the new ad campaign today;
“Are you looking for a mouthwash which provides Whiter Teeth and a Brighter Smile, give Clorox an attempt.
Beth also took issue with how the cashier bagged our raw sausage and fresh mixed greens together. Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying that the young woman did not supply us with any food safety precautions, I mean, at least she did have the decency to put both things in one of these there”blue bags” in order we would know what was inside would have to be refrigerated once we got home. We have all heard those stories about families becoming sick from their own cooking, and how it could have easily been averted had they have just followed some noise sanitation and hygiene practices when working in the kitchen. Lets take my sausage and mixed greens dilemma for example. By me only selecting the appropriate utensils, this young cashiers bagging faux pas poses no health risk to me or my family at all. I just start my preparation by catching a cast iron skillet out from beneath the cooker. To avoid any sticking, I suggest that you permit the skillet to heat for 2-3 minutes, just long enough so you can feel the heat coming up from the skillet when you wave your hands over it but not so long that it will burn your fingers when you touch it. The browning of the exterior of this sausage is the most important step, as it helps to ensure that the pan was hot enough to burn off any germs which the sausage may have picked up from touching them nasty greens.
For those who have a opportunity to go see the new Food Lion, then I suggest that you wait a couple of days.